To That Point In Time

I just keep telling myself that there will be a significant moment when I finally know what to do.

Too Close To The Edge

It scares me how often I imagine things that I never thought I was capable of doing. I hate being this person.

To Exhaustion That Sleep Can't Fix

At the end of each and every day, I'm so tired. Not tired from work or school or lack of sleep, but rather tired from trying to hold myself together every single second of the day. It takes every ounce of energy I have to keep myself from falling apart at any minute, it just gets to be too much.

To Admit

Tonight I realized I had a problem. I finally said out loud what's constantly been on my mind lately. And when I heard the pain in my sister's voice as she begged me not to leave her here alone, that's when it hit me. I truly can't feel anything, at all, nothing. I need help because I can't be this unstable person, or sister, any longer

To Move

Some of these songs are only things getting me from day to day.

To Supplement

Tonight I stood in the pouring rain, just stood there. I don't know for how long and I don't know why, but it was the first time I've felt something real in weeks. It was like the universe projecting everything I've been feeling: sadness, bitterness, anger, defeat, fear...all of it soaking every inch of me. Everything has changed now, even falling water from the sky somehow feels different, makes me feel different. Nothing's the same, never will be.

To Feel Numb

For the rest of my life, I will always wonder why things are so unfair. 
I will always want to know what I did to deserve what happened to me. I will 
always wake up thinking everything is okay, later on realizing that it isn't, and that 
it most likely never will be. I will cry about it, I will be bitter, and I will be angry. I will always
 have problems trusting people. I'll never think that anything will last. Happiness, joy, friendships, and relationships...all of them just seem doomed. But I still try to try. For the rest 
of my life, I will try.