Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Every time I start to miss you...all I have to do is look at my purple face, feel with every throb how much it is swollen, and remember in detail how scared I was that night...and that original hurt of missing you is replaced with anger and bitterness. Even as the bruises fade and I rebuild my strength, I know one thing will never change.
I will never forgive you for allowing this to happen to me.
I felt my world fall down around me, my world just split apart. Guess it’s alright when you’re left with a broken heart, because you grow with good intentions; you learn more about this life. I watched our empire burn to ashes as you left me there that night. Bruised for now, some bruises just don’t fade. I know somehow, some way, things will get better.
Monday, November 28, 2011
I hate that feeling when you're about to cry and someone asks you if there's anything wrong or to cheer up and you try to smile but you just physically can't do it, and eventually the effort of trying to smile for this one person has the tears spilling over. It makes me feel so defeated by life when I can't find the strength to smile in those moments.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Every day since: July 14th when I first met you, July 18th and 21st when I came to visit you in the hospital, to August 13th when you gimped around all night with me, first kissed me, and told me I was your girl. Every day since I've asked myself how on Earth I got to be so lucky.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
This weekend I had the best birthday a girl could as for. Everything was so perfect. Family, friends, boyfriend...all of it. Awesome. A few days ago I was afraid of growing older, scared of entering the second decade of my life, but in all of my (now 20) years I've never had a better birthday. If there is ever a time that I am sad or having a rough day, I will look back on this weekend and remember how happy I was, how happy I am still.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Sometimes I'm so happy that it scares me. Like makes me sick to my stomach scares me. Is that even possible? And if so, why? Because I'm afraid to lose that happiness? Afraid that one wrong word, look, or comment could send him running? Fear of loss, that must be where it all stems from. The fear that I don't deserve the happiness that we have, but at the same time it's only happiness that him and I could share. Anything else would be significantly less. And therefore not be worth it.