Wednesday, November 30, 2011

To Live And Learn

If there's one thing that I've learned from all this it's that happiness is temporary. Life waits until you are the happiest you've ever felt then it takes everything away from you all at once.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

To Look In The Mirror

Every time I start to miss you...all I have to do is look at my purple face, feel with every throb how much it is swollen, and remember in detail how scared I was that night...and that original hurt of missing you is replaced with anger and bitterness. Even as the bruises fade and I rebuild my strength, I know one thing will never change.

I will never forgive you for allowing this to happen to me.

To Bruise

I felt my world fall down around me, my world just split apart. Guess it’s alright when you’re left with a broken heart, because you grow with good intentions; you learn more about this life. I watched our empire burn to ashes as you left me there that night. Bruised for now, some bruises just don’t fade. I know somehow, some way, things will get better.

Monday, November 28, 2011

To Break

I hate that feeling when you're about to cry and someone asks you if there's anything wrong or to cheer up and you try to smile but you just physically can't do it, and eventually the effort of trying to smile for this one person has the tears spilling over. It makes me feel so defeated by life when I can't find the strength to smile in those moments.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

To That Reoccurring Force

There's something going on with this 4 year gravity pull. No matter how long it's been, it always comes back and it's exactly the same each time.

Friday, November 25, 2011

To Want It Too Much

The feeling of being sick, but you're not really sick. You're just sad, upset, unhappy. You feel like laying in bed all day, like that’ll make it all go away.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

To Constant Joy

He makes me happy, and that is all I want.

Monday, November 21, 2011

To Find That Something

Don't search for love, search for someone that makes you happy. Sooner or later, that happiness will evolve into love.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

To Dull

I guess the amazing moments make even the average moments feel like something is wrong. I hate that feeling. I miss him being here like he used to be.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

To Remember The Dates

Every day since: July 14th when I first met you, July 18th and 21st when I came to visit you in the hospital, to August 13th when you gimped around all night with me, first kissed me, and told me I was your girl. Every day since I've asked myself how on Earth I got to be so lucky.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

To Lose The Teen

This weekend I had the best birthday a girl could as for. Everything was so perfect. Family, friends, boyfriend...all of it. Awesome. A few days ago I was afraid of growing older, scared of entering the second decade of my life, but in all of my (now 20) years I've never had a better birthday. If there is ever a time that I am sad or having a rough day, I will look back on this weekend and remember how happy I was, how happy I am still.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

To The Most Amazing Thing

When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, 
you feel like your whole world is complete.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

To Conflict

Sometimes I'm so happy that it scares me. Like makes me sick to my stomach scares me. Is that even possible? And if so, why? Because I'm afraid to lose that happiness? Afraid that one wrong word, look, or comment could send him running? Fear of loss, that must be where it all stems from. The fear that I don't deserve the happiness that we have, but at the same time it's only happiness that him and I could share. Anything else would be significantly less. And therefore not be worth it.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

To Hold On Tight

My biggest fear is losing you. Please don’t ever make me face that fear. You have absolutely no idea how much you mean to me. And more importantly how incredibly happy you make me.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

To Sing Your Song

Got an early birthday present today. Funny how something so simple can mean so much.

(s/n): Haven't been this happy in an awfully long time :) :)