To Feel Numb

For the rest of my life, I will always wonder why things are so unfair. 
I will always want to know what I did to deserve what happened to me. I will 
always wake up thinking everything is okay, later on realizing that it isn't, and that 
it most likely never will be. I will cry about it, I will be bitter, and I will be angry. I will always
 have problems trusting people. I'll never think that anything will last. Happiness, joy, friendships, and relationships...all of them just seem doomed. But I still try to try. For the rest 
of my life, I will try.

To Slowly Slip

Tears just continue to fall. With no sign of stopping. I feel like I'm losing the little fire I have left.

To Call It Quits

FUCK EVERYTHING.

To One Week

One week, two days, one hour, and ten minutes. I feel like nothing has changed, nothing at all. I'm just exhausted from little to no sleep, scared out of my mind to be in the city I love, and I can't bring myself to trust anyone anymore. I don't feel like the same person anymore and it tears me apart when friends and family tell me they miss the cheerful Heather I used to be. I feel so broken, all the damn time.

To The Words I've Been Searching For

perfection...every. single. word.

To Wake Up Sobbing

I thought sleep would be an escape from this horrible place in which I've found myself. But for the past week, every time I close my eyes I dream that we work everything out and things magically fall back into place. They say you can't feel when you're in a dream...I say, false. Because every time I do, my heart races and I swear I start smiling in my sleep. Everything is so wonderful and I feel like things are beginning to look up for me...then I wake up. I wake up screaming at the top of my lungs and crying my eyes out. It's like feeling that initial loss over and over and over again. Sleep used to always be my escape from reality, but now I find myself avoiding it. I feel as if I just can't win. I'm either awake, angry and bitter with my life, or waking up from temporary happiness, sad and heartbroken once again.

To Lose Grip

I feel like I'm slowing losing my mind, and myself.